went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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