Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
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