Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Randomize
