Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
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