Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Randomize
