I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Randomize
