You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
