why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
