Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
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