i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
In other news, I just burned my penis
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
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