mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
ok first of all what the fuck
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
