I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
