dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
this just has baby written all over it
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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