I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
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