Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
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