you guys were way drunker than both of me
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Randomize
