their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Randomize
