Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
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