i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
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