i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
