Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
You ate ashes out of my bong
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Randomize
