Your tits are I can't wait for
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Randomize
