We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
