Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
