his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
it's like heaven, but drunker
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
