Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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