Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
