last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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