all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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