They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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