she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
