dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Randomize
