Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
