We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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