those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
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