I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
