omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
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