It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
I could make wine with my vomit
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Randomize
