She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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