Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
