Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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