so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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