He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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