I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
You ruined the universe
Randomize
