Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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