it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
you would pick up someone in the library
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
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