Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Randomize
