What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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