everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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