haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
