god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
